A Cautionary Tale for Vampires

A. Action; Mr Pratt's Poetry Class.

[Spike is dressed like you know, English professors from the 50s: sweater vest included. You might notice his bleach blonde hair though, and the chipping black nail polish that perhaps indicates it's not his clothing of choice.]

Yeah, so, you lot. I'm Spike and if you have a question - ask it, I guess. None of this hand-raising bollocks. [blinks. that had sounded more threatening in his head.]

You'll find a copy of E.E. Cummings' No Thanks under your desk. I'll be doing a little reading for you.

( ... )

[Despite how inappropriate that is he's handing out the syllabus. He didn't write this nor does he know what it says. It proclaims his name as Mr. Pratt as does the plaque on his desk (which includes the first name "William"]

Oh yeah, and just call me Spike, yeah?

B. Phone; After class.

So I was thinking, yeah? I ought to have a cookout. Got myself a proper wife and my eyesight back, sounds like enough to make a celebration to me.

Plus I miss hot wings. And bloomin' onions.

What do you miss? Not exactly a chef but I can do my best.