Hell 2.0, or Spike Makes a Friend.

[rudolphofvamps]

[ he was carrying his sword and an axe today, plus some stakes for good measure. not that there were many vamps left out here. a serial killer had to be easy to spot, right?

spike climbed off cordy, but nothing for miles smelt human.. he was starting to get nervous, brian could hack up girls but could he really hold his own here? he took a deep, albeit unneeded breath and kept his senses keen, cordy watching his back ]

Comments

[acrotomophile]

I think I could do without the Jurassic Park fun ride portion of the evening, thanks all the same. [ Brian has his limits, okay. He's dodging that drunk fyarl demon right now, more or less neatly; he can't help tensing up at things. ]

I'd rather you tell me what real Hell is like. Call it professional curiosity.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Alright. [ spike grins, unblinking as a fireball narrowly misses him and puts itself out in the street in front of where brian's walking ] It's... all fun and games, yeah? Until someone loses an eye.

And that's no joke, one of the Scoobies back in Sunnyhell lost his eye. Wonder how a life without depth-perception is treatin' him. --Oh, right, then. Hell is... well. It's not as warm as I would like, be honest.

[acrotomophile]

[ Brian says promptly, ] False advertising. You should file to the Better Business Bureau.

But you never did tell me. What's a vamp like you doing in a town like this? Is the whole country like this?

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Don't rightly know. [ here come the hand gestures! ] Theory is it's a nexus, yeah? Concentrated over California. Just one state, Hell on Earth. But bein' that it's a nexus, sucks us in. We can't leave. Thinkin' some people got away, early on... but we can't reach the rest'a the world in here. It's like there's a bubble over us reflectin' happy, healthy California life.

[acrotomophile]

That's honestly one of the freakiest things I've ever heard. [ his eyebrows go up ] Figures it'd be California, though. If there was ever a state that'd turn into Hell...

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[ snorts ] You're tellin' me, mate. It was that or Florida.

[acrotomophile]

Hey, Florida is a great state, [ he says mildly. ] Its solve rate for murders is 20%. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Isn't the murder rate itself somethin' like 200% out that way? Worse than LA.

[acrotomophile]

A balmy twenty for every hundred thousand people, if you want the real statistic. I know the national average is seven - can't speak for L.A.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound nearly high enough. Take it you're talking measures to close the gap?

[acrotomophile]

Me on my lonesome can't do all that much, [he says modestly,] not statistics wise.

And I don't you're a vampire and all, down with the offhand killing to survive, but I thought you were good. This seriously doesn't bother you?

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Not down with.. offhand killing at all, mate. But I'm really not in any position to judge. Killed more people than you'll ever have opportunity to.

[acrotomophile]

Oh, really? Remind me not to get into a pissing contest here. Between you and the guy that took over the White House, everyone's showing me up.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[ snorts ] Bloody got that right, mate. Sure you'd do me one up if you had centuries to kill.

[acrotomophile]

Now why would I want that? Being a vampire sounds like a drag - no offense. I'd just miss the beaches something fierce.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Oh, no doubt about that, is a drag, mate. Can't say as I miss the beach, what with this delicate skin of mine.

[acrotomophile]

[he snorts] Delicate, sure. But there must be some perks, aside from the Dorian Gray thing.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

I heal fast, for one. Can only kill a vampire a few ways, but I got that super strength goin' for me too. Course, most vampires get the luxury of bein' guilt free. Once you put the soul back in, no such luck.

[acrotomophile]

Is that how it works? [he asks, more genuinely interested now.] That's interesting. So a soul acts like a conscience.

I wonder if there'd be any difference if I lost mine.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

[ he tilts his head ]

Maybe not, huh?

[acrotomophile]

What defines a sociopath? [rolling his eyes] It's beyond me. Everyone has their own internal standards, their own bias. It's not something that affects me.

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Don't really see anything wrong with that, be honest. Makes things simpler, probably.

[acrotomophile]

[he can't help it - he starts laughing]

You're a singular kind of guy, Spike. I like you. So are we gonna kill some demons or what?

[rudolphofvamps.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. [ Spike flashes a smile, rounding the corner - they're hidden by a half demolished building. A gang of suspiciously human-looking creatures is gathered there. But some have extra limbs or strange-colored eyes. Antennae, or bumpy skin. Some, more disturbing still, are indistinguishable from an actual human. Only Spike knows the difference. ]

See them? Been trying to find these guys for weeks.

[acrotomophile]

What's been keeping you? Am I just a lucky charm or something?

[ Brian hauls his bag up and zips it open. ] Okay, wait, I need your opinion. Garrote or knife?