rudolphofvamps | (no subject)

Yeah, takin' that to me grave. Well.. third time's the charm, anyway.

Take it you had a better time? [genuine interest in his tone]

[ She dropped her eyes all together and spoke in a soft, defeated tone. ]

Not really. [ Paused, pulled her lips into her mouth. ] It was nice at first, but I more or less got married? and...he was, is, pissed about it and broke all things off.

[voice low, leaning across the table] Did you fancy him?

[ She doesn't withdraw, but her eyes remain curiously focused on the table between them. ] I did. A...a lot.

[ Her voice is tiny and broken. She speaks softly to keep it from cracking and she blinks rapidly so as not to cry again. ]

Oh, luv. Want to take this to somewhere a bit more private? [he laid a hand on her shoulder, commiseration clear in the gesture]

[ Claire shakes her head. ] No, no, I don't want to talk about it, it was stupid and enough people are disappointed, pissed, or both with me already.

[ She looks up from her food at him. ] I don't want you to hate me too.

[he scowled, turning away] Don't hate you, and I wouldn't alright? Friends til the end.

[ Her smile is small, but grateful, and one tear manages to sneak its way along her jawline. ] Thanks, [ she whispers. She looked sideways then nods. ]

Alright then, if you really want to listen to me whine...we can go elsewhere.

[ Claire hasn't had much of an appetite as of late, anyway. ]

[he nodded to her tray, shrugging at his own, untouched] Bringing that?

[ She grabs the bread roll and explains, ] Not really hungry.

[ Claire stands slowly, feeling like everyone who's present and in the know, is staring at her. It's likely paranoia, but that doesn't stop her from thinking it, and then it carries into worry about what they'll think of her leaving, alone, with Spike. Still, she waits for the vampire to lead the way, her hands fidgeting with the roll. ]

[he snags her around the waist, clearly not having the same thoughts as he leads her out of the caf and starts down the hall towards the nearest common room]

[ She half hopes and half dreads that word will get back to Sylar, but it's too late to do much of anything now. And she was in a desperate mood, wanting to be heard and just plain wanting company to keep the nasty feelings and thoughts at bay.

Soon as they hit the common room, Claire just starts rambling, using excessive hand gestures (roll and all) and mostly keeping her eyes trained on the table. ]

No one really knew we were...uh, dating isn't the word, because we weren't officially anything, it was just complicated, with random make-out sessions and a lot more arguing. But he was helping me, because I've always been what everyone else wants me to be back home, and I came here to do more, to be something more, only he's like me, with the abilities and everything? so we understand each other on some level, some strained, fucked up level, and I thought we were getting somewhere, I really did, so when he asked me to marry him, it wasn't...I don't know, it happened so fast, and I know it was a huge step and I should have been thinking more clearly, how we were in Port, it's just I wanted it to be...

[ Claire shakes her head, not sure where else to take this. She can't form the words she wants to say correctly. ]

Real? [he asked softly, remembering how real his love spell had felt- he lit a cigarette, listening intently and hanging on her every word]

[ Claire finally meets his eyes with her own wet ones, because it makes her cry again. ]

Yeah.

[ Her voice is defeated. ]

He said he loved me. That I fixed him. And I've been trying so h-hard, everyone else gave up on him, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't and I just, I don't know what anymore.

[he put out his cigarette as quickly as he'd lit it, sliding over and sneaking an arm around her shoulders]

Wanna hear something stupid? I got this soul all for a girl I knew would never love me back.

[ She happily crumbles into Spike's side, wrapping both arms about his frame. Through sniffling and tears, Claire asks, ]

What happened?

[ Distractions. They were good. ]

[he stroked her hair idly with the back of his hand, thinking on that. What had happened?]

Buffy happened. [he sighed slightly, some days he rather wished she hadn't] She made me believe I was a good guy, gave me all this hope- and then proved to be more nutters than I'd ever been.

I still love her, is the sick part.

[ Without moving, except to squeeze a hug onto him, Claire asks, ]

She didn't love you back?

.. I really don't know. I want to say she did, for a bit. I thought she did. But so did Angel, so it's anyone's guess.

[ Claire looks up at him, face contorted in confusion. She's glad, for selfish reasons, to hear someone else's problems, to know she isn't alone in this. ]

Angel thought she loved you or...she loved Angel too?

Angel thought she loved him. Was before he went all evil again, so I was still trying to kill her at the time. It hardly matters now. At least she's still out there.

[ Claire is looking at him in a semi-horrified manner. Only...she can't say much. Sylar tried to kill her too.

She swallows hard and hugs him harder. ]

We suck.

Yeah, luv, we do.

Thanks for hearing me out.

[ She sniffled and drew back, arms clamping defensively around her tiny frame. ]

What did you do? To get over this...

[ The words were lost, so she let the question, sentence, hang in the air. ]

[he sighed, turning away a bit] Not something I reckon anyone really gets over. You just do your best to move on, knowin' you'll always love them and you can't do nothin' about it.

(no subject)

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(last) spam - Assume it is!